5 of Julia’s Favorite Techniques for “Turning Down the Dial” of Anxiety
(In no particular order)
Do exposure WITH updating beliefs
Anxiety grows when we avoid what makes us anxious. Rude, right? Rude and extremely obnoxious.
The good news is that once you’ve done steps 1-3, you are primed to do some really excellent exposure (aka do the thing that’s making you anxious) and get more out of it than just getting through the thing you’ve been avoiding.
Now you stand a good chance here of this particular act of exposure contributing to changing your beliefs and anxiety in a long-term sense and by a non-baby-step amount.
After you’ve done the exposure, come back to the belief you identified in step #1. You got through it! Now’s the perfect time to write a new, updated belief.
If you want to boost the anxiety-reducing impact of that exposure even more, practice the new belief (read the old one and the new one) repeatedly (like once a day, or at least once a week).
Explain the distortions
This technique is old, like 1980s old, but it’s a classic for a reason.
A lot of times, therapists will guide you through the process of doing this without explaining that that’s what they’re doing – in fact, they might not even realize that they’re doing it! The concept of cognitive distortions is such a part of what we do in therapy; we do it without even thinking.
If you haven’t ever, you might be curious to look up the list of distortions (easy to find with a quick “cognitive distortions” search). You’ll most likely read them and be thinking, “oh, yeah, I do that. And oh oh, that one too. And holey mackerel...that one too?!” And so on.
WARNING here! Your parts that are used to trying to control the anxiety by telling the anxiety to go away forever will LOVE this list. It gives those parts the authority to say, “See! I TOLD YOU!! You are so wrong, anxiety, and here’s the evidence to prove it.”
If you find that energy flaring when you read the list, or even sense a whiff of it, go back to technique #2. Identifying the distortions works about 1000 times better after we step towards the anxiety and gain some understanding of it.
Once you’ve identified a distortion present in your anxiety, ask yourself: “How is this an example of me doing this distortion?” And then ask, “And how is that unfair or unkind to me?” This last question here – this is where the gold is in this technique.
Find the root wound and then update your parts
If you write down your beliefs, you might start to have some memories come up, or these beliefs might start to remind you of old experiences and wounds.
Gently, warmly offering an update to your parts might sound something like: “Oh, hey there. I see you, and that was hard. That’s what we learned before. And I see you as you were then. And here you are now, trying so hard to make sure it doesn’t happen again! Good try! But things – they’re different now. Here, let me list some things that are different, and let’s see which might help you to see that I’m different and that you’re not all alone – that I’ve got you and I’ve got this.”
Progressive reframing (WRITE IT!!)
This is the practice of inching yourself closer and closer to perspective and good (less anxious) feelings.
Start with your identified anxious thought/belief that you wrote down in step #1.
Then ask yourself, “what is also true, but is a way of thinking about this situation that has just a little more positivity, wisdom, and perspective? What is also true, but a little kinder and gentler on me?”
...And then keep going, as many times as you can.
As you might have guessed by the use of all caps in the heading, this one really, really requires writing in order to be effective. Without that, you will most likely weave in and out of arguments with the anxiety.
Compassionate movement
Most people have seen reels or TikToks with “somatic” (body-including) techniques. In my experience, these are maximally effective when combined with other techniques. And that’s great, because you’re primed for that after having done steps 1-3. At that point, you might try whatever movement-based techniques sound good. Here are some examples of ones I enjoy:
Yawning and/or stretching,
Some shaking,
Bilateral stimulation (ex. walking, bilateral music with headphones),
A posture of compassion, like holding your cheek in one palm with the other hand over your heart/chest,
A posture that emphasizes a little “taking up space” energy: maybe a yoga pose you enjoy like warrior or goddess pose, or placing your hands on your knees and sitting tall, then rolling back your shoulders.
And that’s them!
Exposure with updating beliefs, explain the distortions, finding the wound and updating your parts, progressive reframing, and compassionate movement - those are some of my most favorite techniques for reducing anxiety, and they’re all ones that I’ve used myself multiple times.